I’ve just got home from the first of Andrew Logan’s jewel sale evenings in London Bridge where I’ve been selling my Love Life tees. I travelled home on the tube, a straight journey on the Jubilee line taking about 20 minutes maximum, and a journey I make often. I got on the train with a friend and a couple of stops along I noticed a rather hideous man with a pot belly, bad teeth and hair, and a horribly lecherous look staring right at me. It made me feel uncomfortable so I mentioned it to my friend and we both stared back hoping to shame him into averting his gaze elsewhere. It didn’t work. My friend got off at Oxford Circus and the train filled up.
“Will you be OK?” my friend asked before alighting, “perhaps you should move into another carriage”. I considered it but the train was full so I would have to stand, and I was tired and already had a perfectly good seat, and anyway, I have every right to travel safely without feeling uncomfortable.
When the train pulled out of Oxford Circus station the vile man, who by now must have thought he could creep me out to his heart's delight since I was now alone, made a truly repulsive facial expression, one of lechery in the extreme, as his staring continued. I was cross that his behaviour was making me feel so uncomfortable and knew I had to make him stop so I announced in a very loud and even voice, while looking straight at him
“Why do you keep staring at me?”
Everybody looked, first at me and then at him, and as they did he blushed red and flustered around as he started to say that he wasn’t staring but I cut him off, again very loudly,
“Please stop staring at me now because you are making me feel very uncomfortable”.
With the whole section of the carriage looking at him he stopped his lecherous staring immediately. He spent the rest of the journey looking at his feet and didn’t bother me, or any other lone female, again.
If somebody is bothering you in public then oust them loudly. My silent attempt at shaming by staring back at this creep didn’t work, but the moment I made everybody around me aware of what he was doing he stopped.
Don’t be silent, be vocal. And be safe.
Loathe lechery
Love loudness
Love Life
XXX
“Will you be OK?” my friend asked before alighting, “perhaps you should move into another carriage”. I considered it but the train was full so I would have to stand, and I was tired and already had a perfectly good seat, and anyway, I have every right to travel safely without feeling uncomfortable.
When the train pulled out of Oxford Circus station the vile man, who by now must have thought he could creep me out to his heart's delight since I was now alone, made a truly repulsive facial expression, one of lechery in the extreme, as his staring continued. I was cross that his behaviour was making me feel so uncomfortable and knew I had to make him stop so I announced in a very loud and even voice, while looking straight at him
“Why do you keep staring at me?”
Everybody looked, first at me and then at him, and as they did he blushed red and flustered around as he started to say that he wasn’t staring but I cut him off, again very loudly,
“Please stop staring at me now because you are making me feel very uncomfortable”.
With the whole section of the carriage looking at him he stopped his lecherous staring immediately. He spent the rest of the journey looking at his feet and didn’t bother me, or any other lone female, again.
If somebody is bothering you in public then oust them loudly. My silent attempt at shaming by staring back at this creep didn’t work, but the moment I made everybody around me aware of what he was doing he stopped.
Don’t be silent, be vocal. And be safe.
Loathe lechery
Love loudness
Love Life
XXX
4 comments:
Scarlett,
Good for you. Some people are just very un-selfaware. It made me think of my big sister Val, who is a nurse. When she was training a guy started flashing her on the way home. She wrote on the back of her chequebook "I've been looking at cocks all day and quite frankly I'm sick of them, put it away".
Scarlett,
As I was reading this I felt cold and uncomforatable, as if it was happening to me. I admire your strength to confront the situation and not allow him to intimidate you furthermore. Thank you for sharing this experiences as I am sure it will eoncourage those of us who encounter these situations now and again, but avert our eyes, hoping it would go away. Thanks!
Thanks both for these comments, and for the email comments I've received on this post.
I think these guys get off on the idea that they can intimidate you in a public place and you will not say or do anything, and that's why I knew the only way to deal with it was to expose his beaviour.
It's a form of bullying, as bullies rely on silence and intimidation in order to operate. They too need to be exposed whenever possible.
go superhero scarlett! i can C u in a tiara, cape & boots, ridding the underground of the baddies! xxx
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